And your solution involved destroying that Alpha's other pack? I don't think I could do something like that, Lyall.
[He types it without thinking, without recalling that he's never spoken to Lyall about this at all.]
He had me put in Realignment twice. The first time when he'd only just arrived. I saw him in a cafe and knew he must have called me to him. I panicked, started yelling at him. There was a woman. I... terrified her. I didn't mean to, but she just kept looking at us. I don't know. He came to 'punish' me for that, but he just... sat there in the room and talked.
[Jon's insides curl with shame, knowing how this looks. How it reads.]
The second was after I convinced Agnes there was a way to take off her collar without him finding out. I had to work at the Naughty Persian for a week as one of the cats.
[Not that he'd... ever mentioned that to Alessandro or Lyall.]
That's... technically it, I suppose. But I know he's watching me. And he has to be planning something. What if I'm doing what he wants again? I can't tell if I don't know what he wants me to do in the first place. Or not do?
[The mental strain of having to second guess everything you do is overwhelming... which is probably why Jon does so much without thinking at all. In the vain hope it might be against Elias' plans.]
[It takes him a good ten or fifteen minutes to respond to all of that. Which, one might be able to think, makes some amount of sense given all that Jon has said. Really, at least half of that is spent looking at those first two responses. Of course he wonders how Jon...knows this, but even still he has inklings. The second sentence carries with it a feeling of shame. He'd done what needed to be done and he doesn't regret it.
But shame still plays a factor.
In the end he simply does not respond to those first two lines. They are...irrelevant. Jon's opinion on his choices does not hold relevance to the situation and neither do Lyall's feelings. It's the rest of the message that is important.
He tucks the information about Realignment away as well without comment. For the moment.]
Perhaps you can't know. Perhaps the best you can do for now is to consult with others when you feel unsure about taking a particular course of action. Or if you think action is needed.
[All of this is causing Lyall to very much back out of his promise not to speak to Elias. His ability to give advice on the subject is so hampered if he has no measure of the man.]
I don't know. It's a lot to take in. We're in a contract and this does put you at risk. I've tried to keep you and Alessandro as much out of all of this as possible. And we're... bound? With your pack thing. I don't know if that affects anything to do with you and what might happen to me. I'm worried about you?
Right. Good. In the event that anything happens... it might be good for you and Alessandro to consider a second option for your contracts. I don't think I'm going to die or anything horrible. Just if he starts to reach beyond the Institute. The fewer ties I have, the fewer strings he can pull.
[Inducing isolation is also a very effective manipulation tactic, but that's not specifically on Jon's mind at the moment.]
[Jon's not terribly concerned for his own health, so he just... doesn't respond to that first part.]
It's probably important if I disappear, as well. You might need to drag him kicking and screaming. The thought of you two without any kind of protection... There are good people who are Doms here. One of the receptionists at the Institute. Sally Timms? She could do with a Hunter and a werewolf to protect her.
Shy, uncertain of herself. She's intelligent, but doesn't trust her own instincts. At least not the ones that aren't shouting insecurities into her ears. She's been touched by the supernatural in a terrible way. And could likely do with more friends her own age. Or therapy. A significant amount of therapy.
[Jon just assumes Lyall means that she seems to be someone in need of help.]
Yes. Something to consider, in any case. I expect she's extremely permissive as a Dominant, as well. Which should assuage Alessandro's concerns about being controlled.
no subject
I don't think I could do something like that, Lyall.
[He types it without thinking, without recalling that he's never spoken to Lyall about this at all.]
He had me put in Realignment twice.
The first time when he'd only just arrived.
I saw him in a cafe and knew he must have called me to him.
I panicked, started yelling at him.
There was a woman.
I... terrified her.
I didn't mean to, but she just kept looking at us.
I don't know.
He came to 'punish' me for that, but he just... sat there in the room and talked.
[Jon's insides curl with shame, knowing how this looks. How it reads.]
The second was after I convinced Agnes there was a way to take off her collar without him finding out.
I had to work at the Naughty Persian for a week as one of the cats.
[Not that he'd... ever mentioned that to Alessandro or Lyall.]
That's... technically it, I suppose.
But I know he's watching me.
And he has to be planning something.
What if I'm doing what he wants again?
I can't tell if I don't know what he wants me to do in the first place.
Or not do?
[The mental strain of having to second guess everything you do is overwhelming... which is probably why Jon does so much without thinking at all. In the vain hope it might be against Elias' plans.]
no subject
But shame still plays a factor.
In the end he simply does not respond to those first two lines. They are...irrelevant. Jon's opinion on his choices does not hold relevance to the situation and neither do Lyall's feelings. It's the rest of the message that is important.
He tucks the information about Realignment away as well without comment. For the moment.]
Perhaps you can't know.
Perhaps the best you can do for now is to consult with others when you feel unsure about taking a particular course of action. Or if you think action is needed.
[All of this is causing Lyall to very much back out of his promise not to speak to Elias. His ability to give advice on the subject is so hampered if he has no measure of the man.]
no subject
Could I ask you?
I know this is a lot, so you don't need to say yes.
But I trust you Lyall.
Your judgment.
no subject
You can ask me. I would be happy to help.
no subject
I suppose that's all for the moment.
Are you going to be all right?
no subject
Why do you ask?
no subject
It's a lot to take in.
We're in a contract and this does put you at risk.
I've tried to keep you and Alessandro as much out of all of this as possible.
And we're... bound?
With your pack thing.
I don't know if that affects anything to do with you and what might happen to me.
I'm worried about you?
no subject
It is quite a bit to take in but I would rather know than not.
I appreciate that you're worried but we will weather this.
no subject
Good.
In the event that anything happens... it might be good for you and Alessandro to consider a second option for your contracts.
I don't think I'm going to die or anything horrible.
Just if he starts to reach beyond the Institute.
The fewer ties I have, the fewer strings he can pull.
[Inducing isolation is also a very effective manipulation tactic, but that's not specifically on Jon's mind at the moment.]
no subject
[Jon may not be thinking about it, but Lyall is.]
I will consider it. But I think it would be very difficult to persuade Alessandro to do so.
You know how stubborn he can be. You may be stuck with us.
no subject
It's probably important if I disappear, as well.
You might need to drag him kicking and screaming.
The thought of you two without any kind of protection...
There are good people who are Doms here.
One of the receptionists at the Institute.
Sally Timms?
She could do with a Hunter and a werewolf to protect her.
no subject
That is an entirely different circumstance.
But also a valid point.
I will discuss it with him, if only to prepare for that contingency.
What is Ms Timms like?
no subject
She's intelligent, but doesn't trust her own instincts.
At least not the ones that aren't shouting insecurities into her ears.
She's been touched by the supernatural in a terrible way.
And could likely do with more friends her own age.
Or therapy.
A significant amount of therapy.
no subject
I can see why you might have thought of her.
no subject
Yes.
Something to consider, in any case.
I expect she's extremely permissive as a Dominant, as well.
Which should assuage Alessandro's concerns about being controlled.
no subject
Will you be all right just now? Is there anything else I can do?
no subject
Thank you, Lyall.